When you know better, do better. – Maya Angelou
I had a moment yesterday where I couldn’t not do better. Doing better in this instance involved me calling out a friend for being blatantly rude to someone who was undeserving of such treatment. This action was a part of a bigger sequence of “adult bullying” that I’ve been observing in my workplace but being so close to it last night, it got to the point where I couldn’t just sit by and let it happen.
So what did I do?
I snapped on my friend. One of the unfortunate drawbacks of being one of my close friends is that very often these are the people who see the worst aspects of me. There’s no attempt to save face or keep my composure. There’s no holding back. If our bond is good enough to make it through the good times then it can withstand a couple of rough spots too, right? I’ve always said:
The people I love the most are the ones I want to choke the hardest.
I wouldn’t actually choke anybody but you get where I’m coming from. I’ve always had a bit of a temper and for the most part I can control it but some things and some people just bring the ugly out.
Back to the story, I let my friend have it last night for how she treated this guy. Actually I was somewhat mild in comparison to me in previous incidents. I articulated to her how rude and unnecessary her behavior was towards this guy who, despite his awkwardness, is really trying his hardest to genuinely connect with everyone. Unfortunately, he keeps getting shut out by a majority of the people here. And for the record, somebody being awkward does not make them deserving of rudeness or disrespect; hell, If that was the case I’d have an unbearably hard life.
I can’t describe exactly how I felt last night before I went off on my friend but I do recall thinking about what kind of people I am surrounding myself by and I can see clearly that things must change. First, I see that I should do my best to set an example for others, call people out on their bull, and have discussions about things that I see around me that aren’t ok. I also realize that I need to work on myself, my delivery, and make sure that when I do speak up it’s coming from the right place and I’m going about it in the right way. I don’t plan to go off on any and everybody but I do plan to do better. I’ve been knowing better for much too long.