I woke up early today and had my mind set on going in to work to try to get a head start on the upcoming week. Tell me why I was half way there and turned my car around?! I just couldn’t muster up the will to go in today. Not after the week I had. Not after the week I’m going into. I’ll make it in tomorrow. I just need one day this week completely void of work so I took myself on a coffee date to write instead. Wonder what else I’ll be doing today? More after the jump.
Despite needing a rest, today will still be spent productively. I’m starting a weekly habit of weekend purging. I’ll be getting out thoughts via writing (blogging, prose, poetry, whatevs) and also physically purging stuff from my apartment. There’s something extremely therapeutic about letting “stuff” go (à la The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo) but I also think that if a weekend were to go by where I didn’t do anything outwardly productive, I would still feel a sense of peace heading into a new week feeling less encumbered by literal and figurative “stuff.” Try it. Get rid of some stuff this weekend.
This weekend, whilst purging, I’ll also be revisiting one of my all time favorite podcast episodes. It comes from the Black Female Leaders Podcast by Marsha Philitas. The guest is Lutze Segu, MSW (@FeministGriote on Twitter) and she drops nugget after nugget of wisdom about the importance of black women doing the work to sort through our own “stuff” before we try to get others to do the same. As black women, we will break our backs for our partners, children, extended families, churches, employers, and communities without acknowledging the fact that we’re broken down, too. This is a very generalized meaning of the term “internal abolition,” getting ourselves free before we can free others. Lutze explains it MUCH better than I can, you should listen. Get your life this weekend, y’all.
Random thought: There’s this older black woman at my job that gives off the strongest auntie vibes. Always sweet. Always happy to see you. Always encouraging. Very aware of opportunities to make others feel special. It’s truly a gift. And I have so many other play aunties and real aunties that bring such an amazing energy to my life through their authenticity, wisdom, humor, and sweet spirit. The older I get the more I’m trying to be about that auntie life. Where a conversation with me leaves you feeling like you just rested your head in your grandma’s bosom for hours. Lutze and Marsha totally give me auntie vibes in that podcast episode. I always listen to it when I need a morale boost. When I feel my fire fading. When I’m worn out and wondering away from the path that I feel like I’m meant to be on.
Despite the difficult week I’ve had, I’ve definitely received confirmation and reconfirmation of some major themes in my life right now. I believe that the universe sends us what we need when we need it and then sends in reinforcements to make sure we know that we’re on the right path. Lately, I’d been feeling stuck, situationally, with work and my relationship, but I realize I actually am moving. I’m growing. I’m challenging myself to think beyond my current situation and to the bigger picture. Because one thing I don’t want is to get so comfortable where I am now that I’m unprepared for what comes next.
So what’s coming next? I have NO clue y’all. Like, none. And that is at times anxiety-inducing. But that’s also life. We make plans. Plans change. We keep moving. So what do we do? We focus on what we can control. We focus on what’s important. We keep our cups as full as we can (self-care Saturdays, I’m looking at you) and we try to fill up the cups of others as well This may not be the right answer for all but for now, for me, it’s what I’m going with.
Happy Saturday, y’all.