It’s a rainy, blah-y Sunday and despite all of my efforts, I’m in a rut that I can’t get out of. Today, I attribute this rut mostly to a slight case of SADs and this cold I’ve been trying my hardest to fend off all week but I can’t deny that there’s been an underlying, unceasing, unhappy hum to life lately and I’ve finally figured out why.
Adulting sucks! I feel stuck. I feel suffocated. Most of my time is spent at a job that isn’t fulfilling. Said job also drains me of energy that I’d much rather spend doing fun things, creating, spending time with friends and family. Hell, I’d even exercise more if I didn’t have to spend so much time at work. Maybe this is me having an entitled millennial tantrum triggered by the realization that I’m almost 30, but I get increasingly frustrated by the notion that at a certain point in life our ultimate obligation is to work and produce and the reward for the fruits of our labor are just basic human needs like food on our table, a roof over our head, and clothes on our back (supposedly, but now that’s not even a guarantee). The things that are good for us mentally, spiritually, emotionally are luxuries relegated to weekends, late nights, and whatever spare time we can etch out of our week days and even when we can do something we want to do responsibilities loom over our heads like dark, nagging-ass clouds.
I admit, I’m a tad bit salty that things are nothing like I’d imagined them to be by now. This feeling is especially strong on days like today, when I feel the weekend slipping slowly and painfully away. I get a bit down and it’s hard to ignore these feelings. So what do I do when this happens to keep these feelings at bay?
- I write. – Hey. What’s up. Hello and here we are. This is the primary space where I brain dump all the negative thoughts and eventually I can write myself into a more positive headspace but I also have a bunch of notes in my phone where I write out things that I feel when I feel them in an effort to make sense of those thoughts or at least connect them to some bigger, higher meaning.
- I read – Fact about me, I’m a master disassociater and reading will take me out of my head quick fast and in a hurry. Usually, I try to read something inspirational or aspirational that can break up the cycle of negative thoughts and encourage me to look at my problems in a different light.
- I plan – There’s nothing better at getting me out of the right now than to devote all my energy towards planning for the future. It’s invigorating and it reminds me to not overlook the things about my current situation that are applicable and necessary to reaching my ideal future.
- Getting out of the house and doing something – This is admittedly the hardest thing to do but I always find that the benefits are so worth it. Especially when I go somewhere I reeeally didn’t want to go. I always feel like the universe rewards me with something specific from those places that I would not have received had I stayed my ass at home.
So this month, each day I’m writing at least one grateful thought, I’m reading something each day (an article, at least one page of a book, something), and I’m actually utilizing my planner. Then on weekends I’m getting out and doing something that is just beneficial to my happiness.
What do y’all do to give your happiness meter a boost? Let me know.
Happy Sunday, y’all.